i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
