I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize