Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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