...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize
