I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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