everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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