If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
