you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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