I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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