Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
