So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
