called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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