I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
