You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You have to summon your inner elephant
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
