I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Randomize
