So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
