And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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