her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
