Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
