Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I believe in your delicious
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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