Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
