Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
