I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
