Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Randomize
