I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
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