He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
