I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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