long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
