he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
