what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
soo... how was my night?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
