I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
