Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize