on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
