But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
