Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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