The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
