So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
