Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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