that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
