Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
