Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I want to be your penis for a week.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize