Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
