my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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