Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
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