people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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