My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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