I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
