I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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