you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize
