If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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