The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
