Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
we made out on top of his cat.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
