i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
he thought i was a dude.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
