why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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