I want to stick my p in your. b.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
