Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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