I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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