There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
