I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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