well I can't set my house on fire every night
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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