Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize