I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
