do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
