i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Floor bacon is actually really good
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