after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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