Christians are straight up FREAKS
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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