My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
