Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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